How Do You Take Your Sweet?
Sweet is the side of life that captivates our attention like no other. Whether it’s the words we hear, the cadence of our time, the thoughts in our head, the honey on our thumb, or the touch of a loved one—when life is going perfectly, or feels far from it, sweet is the treat we grow from.
Leaving behind the warmth of my desert family and the community that feels like home, I ventured to California to see the ocean once more. The sea curled and churned where water met sand. Its sound was both quiet and loud—vast, constant, and changing. The moment felt profound and unique. To walk along the sand and feel the energy of the ocean in all its grandeur was humbling. Yet still, it was undeniable: things have shifted drastically.
In less than ten years, the beach I once knew was different. Plastic, once a stray bottle or a child’s forgotten toy, now fragments across the shore in every footprint. The once-spacious beach is now cramped, precarious. The tide threatens to trap you against the crumbling cliffside, or in some places, a sand dune has been built to keep the water from spilling into the streets. Time has moved on, and these once-big issues have now manifested as a billion small, ever-present dangers.
Reflecting on a Journey
As I reflect on the month that has passed and the experience unfolding, I notice the patterns of energy around me and inside me, and identify how to balance them. The hills that were once green are now dry and scorched. Then there’s Kernville (okay…), and the interaction with the Airbnb host. And, of course, the Inauguration of a new president.
When space and time give way to leisure, and sweetness should be much easier, how do we move through danger when the stimulus is someone else’s anger? Energy matters.
The Energy of Anger and Sweetness
Fast forward a day, and we find ourselves in Sequoia National Forest, in the quiet town of Kernville. We arrive late, in the dark. It’s a scramble to identify the Airbnb: where to park, how to enter, and how to unload. But just five minutes in, as I’m unstrapping our bags, a truck zooms up, parking directly opposite the flow of traffic.
A figure emerges and yells, “You can’t park here!” Startled by her energy, I apologize for the mistake and explain that we’re just arriving. The directions weren’t clear, and we’ll move the car. But her anger seemed disproportionate. She was beside herself. We decide to leave, to find somewhere else to spend our New Year’s and our final day in California.
The sweet moment of rest from adventure is enmeshed with another’s anger. How do you choose a sweet life instead of a bitter or overheated one? Gather yourself, assess your needs, communicate the change, and move on to the newest present moment, empowered by lessons from the past. Anger can be a sign to slow down, change course, or let go of something painful.
Projection, Interpretation and Perspective
The next day, while waiting outside on a bench with my dog, a group of people walks by. One woman pauses, staring at me with a stern look. She repeats in a slow, mocking tone, “Okay… okay…” as if assessing me, then rolls her eyes and laughs. I’m not sure at what. One of the men in the group jokes that my dog has “crazy eyes” and that he felt afraid to pass by with his Chihuahua barking.
My dog, oblivious, simply wags her tail, staying by my side, while I return to looking at my maps, charting the rest of our travels. Projection, interpretation, and perspective are all activities of the mind. The mind is trained, consciously or unconsciously, by what it has seen, heard, or imagined.
How do we decide how to act, who we are, or who we hate—and why? How do we shape the people we dislike in our minds? And when we choose anger, how does that shape our behavior? What would it look like if life were sweet and experiences kind?
“Anger is a friend of ours. It tells us we're thinking in a way that's contributing to violence on the planet. We're a part of that violence, and anger wakes us up and gives us a chance to transform our thinking to a kind of thinking that creates peace on our planet.”
— Rosenberg, Marshall. Nonviolent Communication Training Course, Pg. 3
The Sweetness of Connection
Exposure to diversity and different perspectives has taught me that humans are complex and varied. Anger feels like an easy response when faced with something deemed challenging or unfamiliar. To react to another’s anger with anger is to close the door to connection—both for yourself and for others.
Can we expand our language enough to create a space for pause, where we see our needs and the needs of others? In that pause, can we ask ourselves what we’re carrying with us into the unknown? Can we take time to observe without judgment, to ask questions with curiosity before deciding what something—or someone—is?
When life feels sweet, and the moment is easeful, the behaviors of others aren’t as upsetting. You have time for better things. As life speeds up past loving and into arduous, others’ behaviors become energy to react to. Instead of matching energy, can we stick to sweet—or at least find the effort to return to it?
Anger that inspires connection is passion, a love that is opposite of desire. Sweet, sounds like a conscious breath, are an energy of safety — a space that amplifies calm. Sometimes, sweet is no response at all. Being alive and breathing alongside the life and well-being of others is the sweet experience of an open and vibrant heart.
Ayurvedic Wisdom for Winter
What is the "sweet" that nourishes life rather than adding to the pile of things to fix, to correct, or to regulate? Action from a place of intentional effort, grounded in the presence of your values and an open heart, creates a feeling of cyclical harmony—like the seasons and the lessons they bring. Where does peace come from, and when does it move toward the efforts of all?
As January comes to a close, how do we learn from our experiences to light the way for February—grounded, a little more united? Perhaps united doesn’t mean sameness. Perhaps it means acceptance, clarity about our differences, and humility in understanding the needs of others. What are our needs, and how do we communicate them?
Following the behavior principles of energy: same builds same; opposites balance. The ancient life science of Ayurveda suggests that as winter settles in and we move toward spring, the body begins to build Kapha energy. An excess of Kapha can manifest physically as heaviness, fatigue, water retention, and cold-like symptoms. Mentally, it can show up as depression, possessiveness, greed, or lethargy.
What about Vata and Pitta building up? Ayurveda
How do we treat ourselves sweetly?
To balance Kapha, we can bring in astringent, pungent, and bitter tastes to dry out and activate the body. Think foods like broccoli, quinoa, barley, asparagus, arugula, radishes, mustard greens, garlic, ginger, paprika, cayenne, pomegranate, apples, parsley, basil, rosemary, turmeric, and chicken for those who eat meat. Opt for honey instead of sugar, and sip warm teas—dandelion or tulsi basil. Smell fresh or dried lavender, sage, or thyme. Try waking earlier and taking shorter naps when possible. Above all, feel—liberate and let go of pain and love.
Gently move and hydrate your body with fresh warm water or organic fruits you peel yourself. Let fire—anger, action—give direction to connection, space that’s healing, and people and a planet that feels loving. May time give clarity to the fires we face and build us generationally. May you feel the courage to express yourself with those who feel safe. This is a moment for clarity to give life to our hearts from where we’ll grow, united.
Sweet
Connection. Language. Touch. Subtle measures. Gentle transitions.
Doing what we need most. Caring for ourselves and for the needs of our community.
So, I ask you again: How do you take your sweet?
Thank you for reading!
All thoughts and reflections are my own.
For more on my insights and offerings, visit my homepage.
Works Cited
Rosenberg, Marshall. Nonviolent Communication Online Training Course: Session 2-08. Sounds True Application, page 3.
Lad, Vasant. The Ayurvedic Institute. www.ayurveda.com.
Banyan Botanicals. Banyan Botanicals. www.banyanbotanicals.com.
Special thanks to ChatGPT for providing feedback and guidance during the editing process.
